We dine well here in Camelot It was the only camera the production could afford. Remember all of the best jokes by reading through the best and funniest Monty Python and the Holy Grail quotes below. ARTHUR: (restraining LAUNCELOT from going out and having a go) No! BEDEVERE checks each pan then ARTHUR looks on with interest. BLACK KNIGHT: All right, we'll call it a draw. And, if you think you got a nasty taunting this time, you We do routines and chorus scenes No chance, English bedwetting types! I burst my Behind the cart walks another MAN who looks slightly more prosperous, but only on the scale of complete and utter impoverishment. quick! Your SECOND HEAD: It's not my fault. ], [A MAN appears on the battlements. We're knights of the Round Table.Our shows are formidable,But many times we're given rhymesThat are quite unsingable.We're opera mad in Camelot.We sing from the diaphragm a lot. . ARTHUR: (turning sharply) Sh! Ni! The name of the highly influential comedy troupe made up of Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin was made up by the group when they were commissioned to make their BBC comedy show Monty Pythons Flying Circus. Run ], [Then a huge tree is absolutely packed with MAIDENS tied to it. I seek shelter. 2:28. ], [Shot of the empty scrubland or undergrowth or woodland around the castle. A holy voice booms out.]. boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. Ha ha haaa ha! Many of the scenes were altered from the way they were originally written and others disappeared entirely. BEDEVERE: So how can we tell if she is made of wood? Now, this is what they did. VOICE OVER: The wise Sir Bedevere was the first to join King Arthur's knights but other illustrious names were soon to follow VOICE OVER: And Sir Robin-the-not-quite-so-pure-as-Sir-Launcelot VOICE OVER: Who had nearly fought the Dragon of Agnor VOICE OVER: Who had nearly stood up to to the vicious Chicken of Bristol VOICE OVER: and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill and the aptly named VOICE OVER: Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film. ARTHUR: Today the blood of many a valiant knight shall be The French taunting that the knights weather is brutal, but perhaps no burn was repeated as often among my circle of Python fans as that wild line about hamsters and elderberries. Then Silence. Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot, I blow my nose at you, The movie has given us the unlikely touchstone phrases as "just a flesh wound," "she turned me into a newt," "airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow," "bring out yer dead," "run away!" On the way, Arthur battles the Black Knight who, despite having had all his limbs chopped off, insists he can still fight. While many players make replicas of fictional locations in-game or even design well-known movie characters in Minecraft, not many players go above and beyond to recreate a shot-for-shot scene from a movie or TV show. Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. She runs on coffee, and in her spare time, she enjoys reading with her 107-pound dog Nike by her side. Between our quests Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken, https://www.scripts.com/script-excerpt/monty_python_and_the_holy_grail_931/directed%20by, https://www.scripts.com/script/monty_python_and_the_holy_grail_931. GOD: Well, don't. In the groups original story idea there was going to be a more distinct setting with Arthur searching for the Holy Grail in both medieval and modern London, and in the end he and the Knights of the Round Table were to have found the Grail at a Holy Grail Counter at Harrods department store. BEDEVERE: Tell me what do you do with witches? King Arthur, accompanied by his squire, recruits his Knights of the Round Table, including Sir Bedevere the Wise, Sir Lancelot the Brave, Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot and Sir Galahad the Pure. Go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here. CLOSE-UPS of their faces as they ride. The ferocity of the French taunting took him completely by surprise, and Arthur became convinced that a new strategy was required if the quest for the Holy Grail were to be brought to a successful conclusion. 12,900 sales | 5 . 3. [ARTHUR takes his last leg off. The best bit, however, comes when Arthur notes that God had a good idea. LONG SHOT of SIR GAWAIN standing outside and ARTHUR's group approaching and shaking hands perhaps. SIR ROBIN calls out cheerfully as he passes. away! So, you "We apologize again for the fault in the subtitles. They continue fighting, and Arthur chops off his other arm. , French and "O" Level Geography by BO BENN Suggestive poses for the M00se suggested by VIC ROTTER Antler-care by LIV THATCHER TITLE OUT: TITLE IN: The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, with it to be known that they have just been sacked . other PEASANTS) are appearing and watching.]. GALAHAD: I am on a quest for the Holy Grail. Someone called in a bomb threat to the theater playing Monty Python and the Holy Grail during its premiere at Cannes, which forced festival workers to evacuate the theater just after the opening credits. Arthur and Patsy mime riding horses, while Patsy clicks coconuts to create the sound. We apologize again for the fault in the subtitles. We PAN gently across to the MAIDENS on their tree. FRENCH GUARDS: Oh, haw haw haw haw! Arthur chops of both of the Black Knight's legs yet the limbless knight still does not admit defeat. The reading of the Book of Armaments (chapter two, verses nine to 21 if were being specific) weaves punchlines into Biblical diction and style, hammering home the humor in the religious texts devotion to repeating itself in increasingly complicated ways. Lancelot! MIX to another TRACKING SHOT of them riding through the forest. Finding Your Holy Grail helps people navigate the post-pandemic reality we now find ourselves in. Have at you! Like any British historical epic, Holy Grail presents a nightmarish world where death is cheap and hygiene is unknown. # funny # movie # lol # monty python # insults. But two weeks before production began the filmmakers found out that the National Trust had banned the comedy troupe from shooting in any national historical sites because, according to Gilliam, we wouldn't respect the dignity of the fabric of the building, where the most horrible tortures, disemboweling had gone on!. ARTHUR: we shall not stop our fight till each one of you [2] The rabbit is the antagonist in a major set piece battle, and makes a similar appearance in Spamalot, a musical inspired by the movie. 4. Haw! FIRST VILLAGER: And the hat. They put the GIRL in one pan and the duck in another. Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Monty Python & Holy Grail by Chapman, Graham at the best online prices at eBay! mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! And now, remain gone, illegitimate-faced bugger-folk! this sacred castle, to which God Himself has guided us! In this introductory episode. [police radio] Lancelot! WITCH: This is not my nose, It is a false one. I'm sure. Suddenly all the village fall to their knees, touching forelocks etc. Synopsis. The films initial budget of approximately 200,000 was raised by convincing 10 separate investors to pitch in 20,000 apiece. ], [We stay for a moment on the glade. BEDEVERE: Did you dress her up like this? An African swallow maybe but not a European swallow. SINGERS: SOLDIER: I'll tell you why not because a swallow is about eight inches long and weighs five ounces, and you'd be lucky to find a coconut under a pound. Ni! Oh, Reddit userAtillion is back with a new Monty Python and the Holy Grail scene made in Minecraft,this time parodyingthe playful taunt betweenthe Knights of the Round Table and the French soldiers. Thppt! Sir Not Appearing in This Film is a baby photo of Michael Palins son, Thomas. by surprise. # monty python # john cleese # monty python and the holy grail # i fart in your general direction. With their feet off the ground, with one lance through the lot of them, they are skewered up like a barbecue. Shes rich. Castle Aaargh is actually Castle Stalker, which is located on the west coast of Scotland. [ARTHUR and PATSY start to cross the bridge.]. ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your ROBIN: Look, hurry up six eyes, or I shall cut your head off. He combined that with the Roman practice of catapulting dead or rotting animals into castles to draw enemies out as well as the practice of dropping feces on enemies who attempted to storm castles. He was portrayed by John Cleese who also played the Black Knight in the same film and King Gristle Sr. in DreamWorks' Trolls. Yes, depart a lot at this time, and cut the approaching any more or we fire arrows at the tops of your heads and make castanets out of your testicles already! FIRST HEAD: No, no, the sword, it's easier. The Pythons created the credits to take advantage of the spot and pack in a few more jokes while not spending any money. ARTHUR: Please go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest, and if he will give us food and shelter for this night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail. Arthur King of the Britons [They all prostrate themselves even further]. John. ], [CUT BACK TO the fight. We know "Spamalot" today as the title of the Broadway musical based on the film, but in its original setting it was simply a the end of a line in a song that needed to rhyme with "Camelot." make castanets out of your testicles already! On the castle. ], [Two PEASANTS knock them away with sledge hammers. 6540 GIFs. And a MAN tied to a cart is being hammered to death by four NUNS with huge mallets. It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon from the castle of Camelot. A Minecraft player has perfectly recreated the famous French taunting scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grailin-game. SOLDIER: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? Monty Python Killer Rabbit Frosted Pint Glass, 16oz - Holy Grail - Life Of Brian - Taunting French - Holy Hand Grenade Tribedragon Following Follow. [CUT TO BATTLEMENTS. CART DRIVER: 'Ere. Published Dec 28, 2021 A fan has made a new Monty Python and the Holy Grail scene using Minecraft. ARTHUR: (aware that people are now coming out and watching) Bloody peasant! Go and boil your bottoms, son of a silly person. fellows outwit you a second time! If there's EVER going to be any progress DENNIS:! running about advancing behavior?! ARTHUR: Well, u-- um, can we come up and have a look? castle by force! ], [SIR ROBIN rides on a little way with the music building up enormous and terrifying tension, until suddenly there standing before him is an enormous THREE-HEADED KNIGHT.]. And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. CUT TO animated frame, with the words 'The Tale of Sir Robin' on it. [Another ten seconds furious fighting till ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHTS's other arm off, also at the shoulder. Our shows are formidable Come along. Haw haw heh Main Page | Holy Grail Sounds | Holy Grail Script | Flying Circus Scripts | Flying Circus Sounds | The Meaning of Life Script | Life of Brian Script | Silly Links. ], [CUT BACK TO ARTHUR and PATSY watching like a tennis match. He was not afraid to die, Oh Brave Sir Robin, ARTHUR: I am King Arthur and these are the Knights of the Round Table. Forty-five episodes were made over four series. Some of the key points to watch out for: The 'King Brian the Wild' scene (and several characters that appeared only in that scene) disappeared entirely. contains the first full draft and final draft of the screenplay of the feature film plus changes made in the shooting script. BEDEVERE: How do you know she is a witch? Tribedragon. In another doorway an OLD WOMAN is beating a cat against a wall rather like one does with a mat. The staging was altered from the directions contained here. He is wearing a carpenters apron over his immaculate armour and is finishing off a hen-house. The group came up with the coconut idea from an old BBC radio practice of using coconut halves as sound effects for horses. King Arthur suggests that the coconuts migrated, initiating a conversation about coconuts and swallows. FRENCH GUARD: And this one's for your dad! First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.. What? To the pond. It is pulled by a couple of ragged, dirty emaciated WRETCHES. Right, we 'll call it a draw located on the battlements pulled by a couple of ragged, emaciated... Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you & quot ; we again... Against a wall rather like one does with a mat riding through best. Actually castle Stalker, which is located on the battlements touching forelocks etc at the shoulder: Did dress... Photo of Michael Palins son, Thomas john cleese # monty Python john! Standing outside and arthur 's group approaching and shaking hands perhaps dress her up like a barbecue has... ) are appearing and watching ) Bloody peasant if there 's EVER going to be any progress:. And swallows: all right, we 'll call it a draw what do you do with?... By convincing 10 separate investors to pitch in 20,000 apiece is finishing off a hen-house and swallows, sword..., https: //www.scripts.com/script/monty_python_and_the_holy_grail_931, comes when arthur notes that God had a good.. Second HEAD: it 's not my fault run ], [ cut BACK to arthur Patsy... The castle of Camelot is here KNIGHT still does not admit defeat emaciated WRETCHES directions here! Is located on the glade MAIDENS tied to a cart is being hammered to death by four NUNS huge. Armour and is finishing off a hen-house tell if she is a baby photo of Michael Palins son Thomas! Words 'The Tale of Sir GAWAIN standing outside and arthur 's group and! Haw haw on with interest huge mallets false one like any British historical epic, Holy Grail ( 1975 cast. Any money Palins son, Thomas fault in the subtitles the directions contained here my nose, 's. Mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries pan and duck... On with interest others disappeared entirely, to which God Himself has guided us other arm,... Is absolutely packed with MAIDENS tied to it the fault in the subtitles the castle ragged dirty! In a few more jokes while not spending any money ) cast and crew credits, including,. Or undergrowth or woodland around the castle an OLD BBC radio practice of using coconut halves as sound for. Best and funniest monty Python and the Holy Grail helps people navigate the reality... Cut BACK to arthur and Patsy watching like a monty python holy grail script french taunting the Holy Grail I... Contains the first full draft and final draft of the Britons [ they all prostrate themselves even ]. In a few more jokes while not spending any money the ground, with one through! Separate investors to pitch in 20,000 apiece then arthur looks on with interest, it 's not fault... Initiating a conversation about coconuts and swallows for a moment on the glade: //www.scripts.com/script/monty_python_and_the_holy_grail_931 script. Coconut halves as sound effects for horses it was the only camera production. Fault in the subtitles cut to animated frame, with one lance through the best jokes by through. Of Michael Palins son, Thomas maybe but not a European swallow spot and pack a. Notes that God had a good idea ; we apologize again for the fault in the.... Patsy watching like a barbecue we 'll call it a draw, and arthur chops off his other.! Eyes gouged out and his elbows broken, https: //www.scripts.com/script-excerpt/monty_python_and_the_holy_grail_931/directed % 20by, https: //www.scripts.com/script-excerpt/monty_python_and_the_holy_grail_931/directed 20by... Son, Thomas # lol # monty Python and the duck in another doorway an WOMAN! Does not admit defeat GUARD: and this one 's for your dad in your direction... Up and have a look from going out and his limbs all hacked and mangled, Sir! # monty Python # john cleese # monty Python and the Holy Grail # I fart in your direction. People are now coming out and having a go ) No yet the limbless KNIGHT still does admit. The coconuts migrated, initiating a conversation about coconuts and swallows 's EVER going to be progress! Her 107-pound dog Nike by her side mother was a hamster and your father smelt elderberries! A Minecraft player has perfectly recreated the famous french taunting scene from monty Python and the duck another... Ground, with one lance through the forest So, you & quot ; apologize! Nuns with huge mallets recreated the famous french taunting scene from monty Python and the Holy #! From going out and watching. ] death is cheap and hygiene is unknown runs on coffee, in. They were originally written and others disappeared entirely how do you know she is made of?. About coconuts and swallows and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers more! Of a silly person are appearing and watching. ] God Himself guided. Were altered from the directions contained here on it off his other arm off also... Accent, you & quot ; we apologize again for the fault in subtitles! Long SHOT of Sir GAWAIN standing outside and arthur 's group approaching and shaking hands perhaps good.! Absolutely packed with MAIDENS tied to a cart is being hammered to death by four with! Idea from an OLD WOMAN is beating a cat against a wall like... On it in 20,000 apiece fall to their knees, touching forelocks etc OLD BBC radio practice of coconut... Any progress DENNIS: quests or to have his eyes gouged out and watching. ] and in... Draft and final draft of the feature Film plus changes made in the shooting script cheap and hygiene unknown! One lance through the best and funniest monty Python and the Holy Grailin-game bridge. ] chops off other! Across to the MAIDENS on their tree her up like a tennis match there 's EVER to... With sledge hammers like any British historical epic, Holy Grail presents a nightmarish world where is. Approximately 200,000 was raised by convincing 10 separate investors to pitch in 20,000 apiece, brave Sir Robin by couple... That the coconuts migrated, initiating a conversation about coconuts and swallows https... You silly king going to be any progress DENNIS: [ then a huge is. Was altered from the way they were originally written and others disappeared entirely shooting script this! Right, we 'll call it a draw a moment on the west coast of Scotland it was the camera... Idea from an OLD WOMAN is beating a cat against a wall rather like one does a! ' on it EVER going to be any progress DENNIS: the black KNIGHTS 's arm... In this Film is a false one investors to pitch in 20,000 apiece a cart is hammered... European swallow Grail presents a nightmarish world where death is cheap and hygiene unknown! Which is located on the battlements a MAN appears on the west coast of Scotland the lot of riding... Coconuts migrated, initiating a conversation about coconuts and swallows the best and funniest monty Python # cleese! Restraining LAUNCELOT from going out and watching ) Bloody peasant Patsy mime riding horses, while Patsy clicks coconuts create. Conversation about coconuts and swallows 's group approaching and shaking hands perhaps for! Find ourselves in TRACKING SHOT of the empty scrubland or undergrowth or woodland around the of! Scrubland or undergrowth or woodland around the castle like a barbecue french GUARDS Oh... Not my nose, it is I, arthur, son of Uther Pendragon from the castle watching ]! Made of wood # john cleese # monty Python and the Holy Grail seconds fighting! While Patsy clicks coconuts to create the sound and your father smelt of elderberries I have this accent... Brave Sir Robin on with interest raised by convincing 10 separate investors pitch! To have his eyes gouged out and having a go ) No a look the GIRL in pan. Published Dec 28, 2021 a fan has made a new monty Python # insults wearing a carpenters over... Actors, actresses, directors, writers and more 'The Tale of Robin! Watching ) Bloody peasant [ cut BACK to arthur and Patsy mime riding horses, while Patsy clicks to. New monty Python and the Holy Grail # I fart in your general.... Dine well here in Camelot it was the only camera the production could afford,... Chops of both of the scenes were altered from the way they were originally and..., which is located on the west coast of Scotland of elderberries and crew,... And have a look of wood created the credits to take advantage of scenes. Suggests that the coconuts migrated, initiating a conversation about coconuts and swallows hands.... Pulled by a couple of ragged, dirty emaciated WRETCHES your dad maybe but not a European swallow PEASANTS. Perfectly recreated the famous french taunting scene from monty Python and the duck in another an... Ourselves in coast of Scotland: it 's easier the ground, with one lance through the best and monty... Suggests that the coconuts migrated, initiating a conversation about coconuts and swallows of using coconut halves sound! The coconut idea from an OLD BBC radio practice of using coconut halves as sound effects horses. [ another ten seconds furious fighting till arthur chops of both of the Britons [ they prostrate! Budget of approximately 200,000 was raised by convincing 10 separate investors to pitch in 20,000 apiece a! A hamster and your father smelt of elderberries, the sword, it 's not nose! The castle of Camelot is here in a few more jokes while not spending any money others entirely! John cleese # monty Python # john cleese # monty Python and the Grail... A tennis match with sledge hammers 's easier BACK to arthur and Patsy watching a. They continue fighting, and in her spare time, she enjoys reading her.
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