1. T he longer I have been in my Ph.D. program, and the more colleagues I have met, the more frustrated I have become with the fact that so . I'm sorry for not replying to each of your comments, but do know that I am reading them. @AbhikTandon Do consider that a PostDoc position often involves mentoring or teaching junior students, grading work, running tutorials, et cetera. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. "Just because you end up pregnant as a teenager doesn't mean your life is over. It is to make choices that keep you out of misery. I'm hoping there might be something to salvage from my time in grad school. It's ok to just live and be happy sometimes. They were dating people locally, and one was wanting to marry the girl he was dating. I worked in the think tank and government space before starting my consulting company. If any of the above resonates with you, then take the time to note down what went wrong and if its something you can approach with more maturity and wisdom in the future. You dont have the same stability, so you shouldnt berate yourself for deviating from what feels like proper timing. @MartinBonnersupportsMonica DSc is not universally higher than PhD. Other students come to me because their parents have forced them down a career path that doesnt suit their own goals or interests. I graduated from a 4 year undergrad with a BS in Psychology in 2013. And it might be for you too. I think I was ashamed, to be honest. Dont rely on assumptions. I DREAD a meeting I have with my major advisor today to edit the QAP for our project. Du Meilan gave him eye drops for half an hour, and then hung up the phone. If they're keeping you, it's safe to assume you're at least above bar. You may doubt yourself. Its also sapping your emotional energy dry. But yea my self esteem now is in the holethe smallest assignment or project now feels unconquerable because Im a perfectionist so when the task seems too big I dont even want to tackle it because it seems too much to handle where I used to be able to do things like this no problem. But, if I got bad grades, I got punished. I was wrong, unfortunately. Two first-authored papers is not bad, I seen a lot of people getting phd for way less and still being full of themselves. When youre leaving high school, it can be hard to say no to a parent who insists you follow on in the family trade. If I were you, I'd be tempted to take stock of my overall life situation at this point, perhaps with some input from the people around me, and try to get an objective view of how things really are - they may not actually be as bad as you think. I felt I should have not been accepted since I am just not a good cultural fit. 3. At U of T, TAs take on duties like grading, demonstrating labs, running a variety of tutorials, holding consultation hours, invigilating tests and exams, and a bevy of clerical . He never took me, as a person, into consideration when giving advice. What do you think of a 33 and 25 age gap? Shop affordable wall art to hang in dorms, bedrooms, offices, or anywhere blank walls aren't welcome. Another is working as an academic advisor who guides new students fresh out of high school. I have no motivation to work on it. By. I haven't felt this low in so many years and for the first time in over 5 years, I'm beginning to feel suicidal again. So now I plan to move out of where I'm at now and start looking for work, but whatare good things sides for me to try to do now? Theyre unable to enroll in the classes they want, they have trouble connecting with their lecturers, or they find themselves living through unexpected financial or medical hardships. Learn more about Stack Overflow the company, and our products. Some have recovered from drugs or alcoholism. My college career is ruined because I am far behind my peers, and therefore my career is ruined. I walked out of the program with some cool experience and skills but overall made me a worser person with mental health issues and set me back years not to mention the student loans. Some of these are affiliate links to products weve used and love. LSA, what is the HIGHEST AMOUNT you have ever paid for CORNROWS??? Its not a death sentence. Wait, at least some months, more ideally some years! The problems you describe have very little to do with academia, but very much with you. Color within the lines. Now that I realize I was wrong in thinking I liked I/O Psychology, I need to reevaluate what I want as a career. masters student, PhD student, PhD candidate. ! Why does pressing enter increase the file size by 2 bytes in windows. I could not understand the state of mind that most of these people were in. I DREAD having to open another article to read. Not every conversation will lead to a job. By Kathryn R. Wedemeyer-Strombel. I know what I want to create. I even did not spend time on having a relationship. How Do You Know When to Walk Away? Why am I still so anxious and depressed? If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. I enjoy aspects of customer service and I have a lot of customer service experience to show for it. I was on medications years ago for my depression and anxiety, but all they did was make me feel more suicidal. I almost quit grad school. But notice, Im not saying you should quit. The young mom reenacted herself as a pregnant 17-year-old. Starting on one of them sounds like much more fun than carrying on feeling fed up about not doing them, at any rate. Nothing but negativity, politicking, narcissism, and stress. Report this Content I wake up at 4:30 a.m. and go to the gym, come home, shower, and start writing a story that's due later in the day. The pros and cons of both options have been discussed extensively, as a quick Google search for "industry vs academia" shows. It may feel frightening to tell your parents that you disagree with their plans for your life, but its certainly better to be honest than to waste years of your life trying to please other people. They might not talk to you anymore (although those who are real friends willor else theyre not real friends. I'm saying you have this in common.). This semester I will only have one course and will solely be focusing on my project. As Ive said before, going to grad school isnt joining a monastery, and there are absolutely no moral requirements on you to stay. I have 5 years of unemployment in my rsum, an unfinished PhD, a tiny professional network, and ongoing health problems which make many things impossible. One is a lecturer who teaches Masters students training themselves for a new career. February 27, 2023 10:48 am. When I was 8 years old I had it all figured out. Some get pregnant, some get divorced, and some are victims of serious crime. So, why bother listening to him? Read it and weep. It's Monday. Im here to tell you that quitting grad school doesnt mean you cant have a great career, so dont get hung up on that. I've ruined my life at 24. A cousin of mine (who very much loved his own mother) told me that joke, which works well because so many of us do feel that our mother (or father . Need help with your relationship? Or, perhaps your mistakes taught you how to be tenacious, resilient, and brave. I'm a former academic turned careers blogger. I'd be miserable, because he was pushing me to go in directions that were making me miserable. Set yourself free. This was a pretty broad field too to where almost every student was on a path to doing something different. No internship experience. I spent a year prior struggling to find a job after graduating with my BS and when COVID hit, I decided to expand my search to looking for graduate assistantships. Truth comes from authority, defiance will be punished. This is not an all-inclusive list. He took a back-seat position at his job where he kept his head down and kept his mouth shut so he could keep earning an income and not rock the boat while supporting his family. I feel that I won't be able to do anything after my postdoc year, and I will just be a burden and disappointment to my parents. I'm considering the idea of taking a leave of absence, but I know that if I do that I will lose this project and honestly, I'm okay if that happens at this point. I felt that if I quit, I could take back control of my life. At least for me, I never considered the results in science 'done'; also pace is probably faster, so you will get getting quite a few achievements under your belt quickly (since you are smart). People quit grad school all the time and go on to live fantastic lives with great careers. In 20 years time, my dad won't be around any more. Is it normal to feel guilty or "settled" about a decision? Why I Dont Regret Leaving Academia After a PhD. There are companies that will hire you to figure out some chemistry, and team you up with Comp Sci or Info Sys folks that will do all the coding and stuff for reports, data science, etc. I ultimately didnt quit, and I dont regret finishing. The program that I am in is surprisingly very easy and not challenging at all. But instead I said, 'You ruined my life!'". Obey the authority figure. Plus undergrad people partied, there was lots of social interaction, lots of chill people, it wasnt so serious, actually felt like college. But each will lead to a possibility. You might not get excited by that, but I realized its the thing I love! My decision to study the chosen subject, Mathematics and Economics, was heavily influenced by my brother who studied the same and me being good at Maths at high school. I had a couple of Indian folks tell me they had a massive weight lifted off their shoulders when they told their family to stuff themselves. It could be a family friend, or maybe youll find from your networking conversations (above) that you discover a kindred spirit whos happy to help you walk through the journey. Graduate School Success for Students With Disabilities, Accommodations for Graduate Students with Disabilities - Rackham Graduate School: University of Michigan, Disabled in Grad School: I, Too, Dread the Accommodations Talk | Inside Higher Ed. I dont feel bad at all that its not for me. You dont need to tell your supervisors or department. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . It sounds like you're unhappy that you haven't been doing those things, which means you'd probably be happier if you started doing them. Go get started. This might represent the plan you had for yourself when you were younger, or it might parallel the life your parents lived. More suicidal, because he was pushing me to go in directions that were making me.... Because you end up pregnant as a teenager doesn & # x27 ; ruined. Very little to do with academia, but very much with you, at any rate mistakes... Dont feel bad at all that its not for me from authority, will... Of themselves fun than carrying on feeling fed up about not doing them, at any.! Might not talk to you anymore ( although those who are real friends to you! 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